my in & out list for the year
call your mom after reading this
In
Matching Lace Lingerie: Nothing makes me feel hotter than secretly wearing a lace set under an oversized lounge set. I need to purchase more.
Cute Pjs & Loungewear: The best feeling after a long day is taking a burning hot shower and wrapping myself in comfy clothes. Why not put on something that actually matches?
Bed Rotting: I deserve one day per week to just “exist”. Every day I immediately jump out of bed with a to-do list in mind which means I am constantly in motion. Hot girls need rest.
YouTube: I miss the feeling of long form content, vlogs, and extended reviews. I currently love watching think pieces, visual essays, vlogs, and book reviews. I also plan on using YouTube to ween myself off of TikTok to prepare for the potential ban, but also to just put distance between myself and overconsumption in general. (Please share your favorite cozy YouTubers in the comments.)
Podcasts: I love listening to other people talk about their lives, trends, news, etc. I’ve saved so many podcasts over the years and am completely overwhelmed. I’ve decided I need a refresh and to unfollow any shows that no longer resonate.
DNF: Why am I forcing myself to finish books I don’t like? I already don’t have enough time in the day to read for fun, why make that insufferable too?
Drawn Out Conversations: I am a girl with a busy schedule desperately trying to make time for herself this year, if you can say it in a few words please do. Otherwise, I will be cutting you short (respectfully).
Oura Ring: listen, I’ve had my ring for a couple of years and don’t even do anything with the data I pay for MONTHLY! I really need to figure out how to use the data to my advantage and do better at checking my stats daily.
Journaling: Every year I promise myself that I will journal more. I have an immense fear of losing my memory or not leaving enough memories behind. I always think about what it would be like to have my future children come across my journals (which terrifies me yet excites me at the same time). I want them to know that one day I was just like them: obsessing over boys, uncertain about my future, frustrated with my parents, and overall a pretty cool girl.
Call my mom more
Daily Movement: I am my best self when I make time for a workout every day. I find that I have the best relationship with myself, others, and food when I stick to some sort of workout routine. My goal for this year is to actually create a dedicated routine split between pilates, cardio, lifting, and yoga. That way I have options no matter how busy my schedule may be.
Substack: I will be replacing mindless scrolling with reading bite sized pieces and prose. Thank you for your service.
Cycle Syncing1: Choose one app and use it consistently.
Scheduled Phone Calls: I need to let people know that they can only contact me to “catch up” at specific times of the day/week for the sake of my own sanity. I found myself waiting for conversations to end so I could get back to work which meant losing my most productive hours to phone calls. Sorry, but I will call you back later.
Hair Oiling & Scalp Massages
Out
Worrying: If there is anything I have learned, it is that things will get done somehow. So why waste time worrying about it? Just start.
Above and Beyond: I will no longer over extend myself for anyone or anything especially if it is not reciprocated, appreciated, or necessary.
Out My Way: See above. I always go out of my way to help others and while that is a beautiful trait to have, it can often lead to an imbalance in the way time is spent serving others as opposed to myself.
Late Meals: I need to stop skipping meals and actually eat on time. 8pm is no time for dinner.
No Bed Time: If it’s not done by 9, it’s not getting done today. Goodnight!
Screenshots: I take way too many screenshots of things only to never look at them again.
Not Posting: My coffee, morning routine, the moon, etc. I wait until they fit my perfectly curated grid to post them. That has left me with a camera roll full of photos I’ve never shared. I’m talking photos from my birthday… two years ago. Hit post and move on.
Chaotic Camera Roll: See above.
Weekly Blowouts: Hair damage is real and while nothing beats the feeling of a fresh bouncy blowout, having healthy hair is far more important to me.
Makeup: While I love the silence and ritual of putting on my daily makeup, I have come to realize that I have fallen into a pattern I had worked so hard to remove myself from over the past few years. In law school, your professors are wearing a suit and tie and your peers are dressed in business causal more days than not. This has led me to step back into the cycle of wearing makeup every day for others and NOT for myself. Last year, I challenged myself to going makeup free and in loungewear during the second half of the semester and boy was that a real mental challenge. How silly of me to worry so deeply about what other people think about my appearance. Here’s to more makeup free days this year.
Apps: Why do I have so many???
Overconsumption: I do NOT need to have every Rhode blush and lip tint that launches, I do NOT need to have every trendy sweater. I only need one of everything really good (see what I did there). But no seriously, I need to give my wallet a break this year and stick to using and downsizing what I already own.
TikTok: This one may be against my will. I have grown to love TikTok because of the feed I have curated: easy access to reviews, (real) news, and recipes. But I also know I spend far too time on this app and don’t even want to know how many precious hours I’ve wasted trying to find a video funnier than the last.
Socials: I made a list of social apps I have collected over the years. I only really regularly use Pinterest, Substack, IG… (TikTok but well, you know that might be leaving us anyways) yet for some reason I am still tethered to various digital profiles. You see the thing is, each feed is curated for a different purpose: recipes, product reviews, thought pieces, tbr lists, aesthetic images… I like to have little corners of the internet that all feel separate and distinct. The problem is, that this had only led to app cycling and endless scrolling. I also have severe attachment issues and fomo because the idea of being bestowed the honor of pr and brand trips always sounds fun. However, I hate the idea of feeling overexposed and “public”. So where does that leave me? I’ve become a girl with multiple profiles each representing a distinct niche afraid of being perceived by those that actually know me irl, and with not one, but three Instagram profiles. I have little to no time left to be creative and have evidently spread myself too thin. The question is: which one is going to be left out?
Save for Later: See screenshots above. If I’m not reading it now, I will not read it later. My max will be saving 5 substacks for the week. The idea is to replace mindless scrolling during meals and doom scrolling at the end of the day, with all of your beautiful posts. Thank you for your service.
Let’s talk socials…
(ig: literarycoolgirl) my booksta - This space has helped me find so many good reads while embracing my creativity and inspiring me to read more. My goal for this year is to read more, write more, and not lose my creative spark. This might help hold me accountable to do exactly that. IN
(ig: sourceofstillness) my wellness / law + life page - This has become a “catch-all” page that has lost sense of cohesion and direction. I love the people I’ve met and the feed I’ve curated here. It’s quiet, it’s relaxing, it’s centered on developing and improving your wellbeing, and filled with amazing recipes but… posting feels like a chore and antithetical to my real life. I believe in only posting content when I am actually embodying the messages I am promoting, which means I haven’t really posted in a while. Because let’s be honest: I do not have a bedtime routine, my dinner often consists of hummus toast or dairy free cheese and crackers at 9pm, and I do in fact skip my workouts. At this point, I feel like I’m keeping this page for the feed and have lost the motivation to post. Does the internet really need another wellness creator? I don’t think I will be missed. IN SORTA
(x) strictly for after hours - Frequented only on a rare occasion. This is really a vice I need to work on (maybe). IN/OUT
(lapse) - Random wannabe retro photo log. I did find out a lot about people i know irl. Including, learning of a relationship a year in advance. But do I really care? No. Have I ever posted? No. OUT
(cosmos) - Think Pinterest + Tumblr + unique aesthetic photos - the ads - the likes. This app provides content that feels original and niche, very much like the old tumblr we all loved. But, I never use it. I may keep it as an alternative to scrolling on ig and for sourcing cool images. But if I don’t find myself inspired by it in the first month of the year, it’s getting kicked off the island. IN SORTA
(tumblr) - I mentioned I have separation anxiety right? This app resembles an era of me that I desperately want to forget. However, it really shaped who I am today. I don’t even have the app downloaded on my phone. But, my tumblr blog was iconic and dare I say, very popular. I refuse to delete my account for the sake of nostalgia and the occasional log in. I will however, keep this app off of my phone. OUT
(lemon8) - This may be the replacement for TT. I had downloaded and created a profile when this app first launched and quickly amassed a following but have never used it since. Given that TT and Lemon8 are hosted by ByteDance, there is a chance this will be going too. Should I take the chance to break free from the shackles and delete now? Or will I succumb to the trap as I come off my TT addiction? The Jury is Hung on This One2
wishing you a healing and transformative ny.
with love,
- s.
I am curious to hear what made on your lists this year.
Honorable Mentions
(stardust, lively, 28 wellness) - Why do I have multiple cycle tracking apps when I forget to use them anyways? My goal for the new year is to figure out if I have pcos and cycle sync. I love the features each app has to bring I just wish they could combine into one. I plan on downsizing this year.
I should really delete it though.
ALSO - calling to "catch up" is so *barf*.... you know what's sexy? Writing LETTERS. If your friend has a lot to say and maybe you don't, they can write it all out to you. You can read it at your leisure, and then you can reply WHEN you want to and how succinctly or elaborately you prefer. Letters were the original Marco Polo (another great option for that friend that insists on catching up). I started handwriting letters again last year and it's also very comforting to pick out stickers you like, spray it with perfume, etc etc.... highly recommend.
Fact: I literally stopped an entire friendship with someone because she insisted on weekly phone calls just to catch up. So that's always an option too.
I adore this video. Warning: ULTRA cozy content https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dUwV1LdWWIA