I reached for a pink glass bottle in the shape of a grenade (Viktor & Rolf's Flowerbomb). I sprayed my pulse points in a ritualistic fashion, only to realize I had suddenly grown to hate the perfume I adored. While this may not seem like a significant moment in one's life for me, it felt like a stark transition into womanhood. It happened so suddenly and without any warning. How could the perfume I wore religiously for years, suddenly leave me feeling like a child sick from over-indulging in sweets? I remember rolling my eyes whenever my mom complained that my perfume was sickeningly sweet but there I was, fighting a headache because of the gourmand rush. I wrote this piece to capture the experience of aging as told through my choice of perfume.
in the twilight of girlhood I bathed in the sweetness of innocence cotton candy dreams wrapped in a flower bomb embrace a sugary explosion dancing in the winds of youth a gourmand mist filled with carefree laughter and untainted dreams but now, as days turn to dusk those once-loved notes of rose and vanilla now sickeningly sweet hang heavy in the air a reminder of a past cloaked in both joy and sorrow scents, like whispers from time transport me back to laughter echoing in sunlit rooms and tears shed in the shadows of a world too complex for a young girl's heart laying half empty in my dresser drawer a pink amber glass now a relic of memories too bittersweet a scent tainted by the ghosts of girlhood’s darkest lessons
now, I lean into complexity
finding solace in the layered depths
impossible to understand
a Rose of No Man’s Land
her petals soft, thorns strong
drawing the blood of any man that dares come too close
a story of survival and rebirth
unfolding in a land once barren
a rose blooming
a guarded heart
that has weathered many storms
where innocence meets experience
and simplicity gives way to nuance
an aphrodisiac mist clings to pulse points
like a siren's song, pulling with each beat of the heart
yet she remains elusive and alluring
a rose of no man's land
blooming fiercely
in between the wild untamed spaces
of my soul
the girl I was and, the woman I've become
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- s.
This was beautifully written! ✨💜✨